I Need To Convey, Wish I Could Explain

1.

he looked up at her & smiled, & for a second something in the world was right.

2.

tell me you've had trouble sleeping;
that you toss & turn from side to
side, that it's my face that you've been
seeing in your dreams at night.

3.

even though i pretend that i've moved on
you'll always be my baby.

4.

whenever a memory pops into your head, you always have to wonder.
how many more times will i be able  to remember that?
will i ever remember that again? how many times can you revisit a memory?

5.

 i want something real, something i can touch
& hold onto. a love that makes my heart skip,
& gives me that amazing feeling in the pit
of my stomach. i want forever.

6.

your eyes still give me a reason to breathe
& our midnight conversations still mean
everything to me.

7.

 i'm leaving you. i'm going home,
& all you can do is just watch me go.

8.

the biggest mistake you can make is to
drift apart from someone you once had
the time of your life with.

9.

what you don't know can't hurt you.
it's what you suspect that screws everything up.

10.

things with us are never normal..
i think we like it that way. never knowing
what might happen from one day to
the next. i think that`s why we can't
ever let each other go.

11.

you put your arm around my waist,
& pulled me closer.
it didn't feel weird or crossing any lines.
it made sense, it just felt right.

12.

i've tried forgetting but that didn't work. so i've come to terms
with who you are and who you've been. the only thing i wish you
could see is what you really could be. your past doesn't make
you decide who you are. & i know you're not sorry,
but i've forgiven you.

13.

it was like she was only there when it was convenient for him;
like she was the gas station, no one ever visited unless their
tank was coming up on empty. yeah, there were days when she
hated him, and there were days when she was head over heels
too. but none of those days mattered because she could never
have him no matter how hard she fell.

14.

i never understood the concept of addiction, how people could
long for cigarettes, or weed, or alcohol so badly that it hurt.
until i met you. now i know how it feels to be 100% relient
on some kind of substance that will never satisfy me.

15.

i loved you once, can i love you again? i don’t know. but i would
like to recapture what we once had. and how can we do that if
you’re not here. so, i’m asking you, please stay.

16.

i just thought to my self, all of a sudden,
that we had something in common. a
natural chemistry, if you will. & i had
a feeling that something big was going to
happen. to both of us. that we were, in
fact, meant to be together.

17.

i liked when my fingers are entangled in
yours and my head is on your chest listening
to your heartbeat. it makes me feel safe, like
at that moment, nothing bad can touch me

18.

sometimes, between people, it takes a long time to get over the disappointment they can cause each other.

19.

retrace & let it go, i tell myself that we'll never remember embrace & watch it die,
to live again,  or we will never remember today.

20.

what's worse than wanting something you can't have? it's not knowing what you want. wishing on all the stars in the sky for the answers to your questions, for something to believe in... someone to hold. having absolutely no control over yourself, being caught up in a place you wish you were miles away from. being stuck somewhere between the past and the future, nowhere near where you should be - in the present. stuck in yesterdays and tomorrows, so far from home, far from everything you know and love. the uncertainty could just tear you to bits.